I
He said she consented, by the end, omitting to mention that he had been holding a cutlass to her neck the whole time.
She was pulled into the bushes, while on her way to meet her mother.
On Valentine’s Day, one week before her 16th birthday.
He had just come out of jail.
Before attacking her, he tried raping his sister and niece but they woke up.
The father had succeeded previously where he had failed.
That whole family is crazy.
II
He was terrified.
Granny, I have something to tell you.
But he said not to tell or he would hurt me again.
He has been raping little sister.
Are you sure you know what you’re saying, little boy? You sure you know what rape is?
Yes, granny. He raped me too.
The doctor cried when she did the examination. I have a daughter her age.
She has years-old scars; this has been going on since she was a toddler.
He bought a nice dolly for her.
Mommy was sleeping; she didn’t know.
Another mother said you aint feel licks yet, just wait!
Because..
Another mother allowed it.
Because..
Another mother didn’t believe.
Because..
Another mother didn’t want to believe.
Because..
Another mother didn’t know what to do.
Because..
Another mother had no money, no job, and nowhere else to go.
Because..
Another mother chose the man over her child.
Because..
Another mother left after many years of abuse. But her son still turned out just like his father.
Because..
Another mother keeps making child after child, trying to fill the clawing emptiness that inhabits her.
Because..
Another mother woke up and caught him.
(What then?)
The mothers are not to blame.
The mothers are not to blame.
The mothers are not to blame.
And the boys grow into men.
Everybody desperate for love, whatever that means.
And the boy-men keep beating, and abusing, and raping, and killing. Even when they don’t shed any blood. Even when the deaths they cause are their own. Even as they live. Even when they’re drinking and sporting and “having fun”.
And the girl children grow into women bodies.
Everybody desperate for love, whatever that means.
Stunted growth is still growth, survival.
The survivors are not to be blamed for surviving.
The survivors are not to be blamed for not healing.
The survivors are not to be blamed.
III
She’s ok, as ok as can be.
I’m trying.
You have to listen carefully to hear the quiver.
You have to listen carefully to hear..
Listen carefully!
Who has time to listen carefully always?
She’s not the first girl/woman/child she knows to have been raped.
She will not be the last.
This is the norm.
Norm
Norm
Norm?
Rape culture
Rape as culture
Are they getting any counseling?
I don’t know.
Who is to blame?
He. You. Me. Them. Us. We.
And after we assign blame, then what?
What then?
What to do?
Do what?
Rage
Beat
Hurt
Kill
But the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house..
And eliminating one will not stop the rest.
Woman hold your head and cry.
IV
there is no love without Justice
there is no peace without Justice
there is no healing without Justice
there is no justice without individual and societal transformation
oil will not save us, Guyana.
February 15, 2021, Guyana

