i pulled up these tomato plants the other day. i’d been watering them religiously every day for months, and they’d been teasing me with lots of yellow flowers, but none bore fruit. the flowers just got brown, withered up, and dropped off. the plants seemed healthy otherwise. i got my hopes up every time i saw a flower, only to have them dashed. i tried moving them around the yard, to spots with different amounts of sunlight. i tried watering more and then less. still, no tomatoes. yesterday i had enough. time to start over. it wasn’t easy tho, to pull up the plants. they had been growing for months and the roots were strong. i pulled one, then two, then paused. maybe if i just waited some more, maybe this time, the flowers would stay on and bear fruit. maybe, or maybe not. i’ll never know. i just had enough of months of fruitless wanting and waiting.
i will give no more of my time, attention, and energy to things which do not feed my body and soul in return. the new seeds i set have burst out. om